What will be your space Jam?

I’ve been here a week now, I’ve been really challenged on staying present, I’m constantly planning or thinking about what’s next, how long orientation is going to last, what I’m going to do after lectures, what I need to buy, how I’m going to raise the rest of my outreach money, where I’m going for outreach, what we’re going to be doing camping or what I’m going to be doing next year.  While it’s good to be ready for what is going to come I tend to not wholeheartedly put my efforts in the now because my head is somewhere else. I’ve realised that when I hear from God I don’t obey instantly, I constantly doubt but meanwhile I say God is my provider, he loves me, he cares for me, he is my father, he shows me grace and forgiveness, my actions show I don’t fully believe that.  Joanne, our speaker this week, was talking to us about hearing Gods voice.  The last day she got us to draw names out of a bowl, not look at it and pray what God wanted to say to this person then after ten minutes look at the name and Go to the person and tell them, well this is a little push out of my comfort zone but I did it and the girl said it was exactly what she needed at this time which was encouraging! The girl that Got me told me she got three words; devotion, faith & emotion. Devotion: making time for God. Faith: don’t worry about the future. Emotion: share my heart; don’t get caught up in what people think. this is exactly where I am at. I have been caring a lot about missing out on building friendships and wanting people to like me that I haven’t allowed myself to be me, and I’ve skipped out on my one on one Jesus Time to hang out with new people and in turn have been thinking lots about how I am going to pay for all of my outreach.  Joanne also gave us all different postcards & then told us not to look at it but pray about what God wanted to tell us. I had the story of peter stepping out of the boat into the lake in stormy waters but when he saw the wind, he was afraid and begun to sink & cried out lord save me, IMMEDIATELY Jesus reached out and caught him and said “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” God has provided for me, I’ve gone on two missions trips and I’m here, in Australia, not in Debt one little bit, he has kept me safe when I have walked down dark alleys, he has spoken worth and life into my heart and I still seem to think I can make a better future for myself, I’ve become consumed with the wind and have lifted my eyes from my maker. I sit here with a repentant heart, arms wide open throwing off ALL that hinders, deciding to fix my eyes on Jesus.

Onwards and upwards

I'm in a daze of sorts, with the feeling that something is coming but I'm not sure what, besides the fact that I am flying on a jet plane across the world. It feels like when there is a crazy roller coaster at an amusement park and you look at it and think, what do I have to lose, it’s not that big.. So you walk up the stairs and you realize how small you are in comparison to this huge piece of metal but no thought to turn back comes into your head, in fact you walk a little faster, wait in line for what seems like a lifetime and then all of a sudden you’re getting strapped in and the chances of getting stuck upside down or flying off the tracks come to mind but still you think I'm good its ok, it’s not even that bad anyways. So the buggy the starts trekking along slowly, butterflies are forming in your stomach but it doesn’t seem high at all. All of a sudden you’re at the top thinking WHAT WAS I THINKING I WANT TO GET OFF, THIS WAS A DUMB IDEA!!! It's too late to turn back though, you have no control over what happens next and the feeling of falling overcomes your body, flying through the air in all sorts of directions you cannot see but after a few twists and turns you’re at the beginning again, shaking with adrenaline and excitement ready to do it all again. So I go today full of faith and confidence leaving the past behind and looking forward with the anticipation of growing more in Christ, I am going to stay soak in everything that comes my way knowing God loves me and thus will refine my character so I can come to mirror his. Thank you for your prayers and coming with me through this journey for the next months.

I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay.You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Psalm 16:8-11

Man on fire