I’ve been here a week now, I’ve been really challenged on
staying present, I’m constantly planning or thinking about what’s next, how
long orientation is going to last, what I’m going to do after lectures, what I
need to buy, how I’m going to raise the rest of my outreach money, where I’m
going for outreach, what we’re going to be doing camping or what I’m going to be
doing next year. While it’s good to be
ready for what is going to come I tend to not wholeheartedly put my efforts in
the now because my head is somewhere else. I’ve realised that when I hear from
God I don’t obey instantly, I constantly doubt but meanwhile I say God is my
provider, he loves me, he cares for me, he is my father, he shows me grace and
forgiveness, my actions show I don’t fully believe that. Joanne, our speaker this week, was talking to
us about hearing Gods voice. The last
day she got us to draw names out of a bowl, not look at it and pray what God
wanted to say to this person then after ten minutes look at the name and Go to
the person and tell them, well this is a little push out of my comfort zone but
I did it and the girl said it was exactly what she needed at this time which
was encouraging! The girl that Got me told me she got three words; devotion, faith & emotion. Devotion:
making time for God. Faith: don’t worry about the future. Emotion: share my heart;
don’t get caught up in what people think. this is exactly where I am at. I
have been caring a lot about missing out on building friendships and wanting
people to like me that I haven’t allowed myself to be me, and I’ve skipped out
on my one on one Jesus Time to hang out with new people and in turn have been thinking
lots about how I am going to pay for all of my outreach. Joanne also gave us all different postcards
& then told us not to look at it but pray about what God wanted to tell us.
I had the story of peter stepping out of the boat into the lake in stormy
waters but when he saw the wind, he was afraid and begun to sink & cried
out lord save me, IMMEDIATELY Jesus reached out and caught him and said “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” God
has provided for me, I’ve gone on two missions trips and I’m here, in Australia,
not in Debt one little bit, he has kept me safe when I have walked down dark
alleys, he has spoken worth and life into my heart and I still seem to think I
can make a better future for myself, I’ve become consumed with the wind and have
lifted my eyes from my maker. I sit here with a repentant heart, arms wide open
throwing off ALL that hinders, deciding to fix my eyes on Jesus.
